The title is a somewhat irrelevant reference to Langland's Piers the Plowman. I hope that's not too obvious and that it doesn't build up too many expectations of a homiletic nature.

¹ Luann
"...the ideal gets ... slenderer" By a strange coincidence this cartoon appeared the same week as I wroke my essay

             

¹
"... kiste of Apollo" in the more peripatetic world of the Greek office-dweller much of the function and all of the kudos of the desk was carried by this humble device.

² Roll-top Bureau
"... the roll-top bureau: there, alone" I might possibly be mis-remembering this quotation. Anyway the original is here

They finally got the lights on in late September---at least it was the same year!

¹ Squeal
"... drew forth a terrified squeal" And now that I've brought it to mind, I rather hope that that scream came from
Ead's girl Elise rather than from the macho Ead himself, but of course I'm far too polite to investigate further.

² Sluggard
"... like the sluggard" From the writings of Isaac Watts (1674---1748), British hymn writer.
'Tis the voice of the Sluggard; I heard him complain,
You have wak'd me too soon; I must slumber again.
As a door on its hinges, so he in his bed
Turns his arms and his shoulders, and his heavy head. &c., &c.
                  The Sluggard, Divine Songs for Children (1715)

Not for one moment to be confused with Dodgson's
'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I hear him declare
You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair &c., &c.

¹ Ecclesiastical History
"... Bede's Ecclesiastical History of the English Speaking Peoples" This viciously conflates the Historia ecclesiastica gentis Anglorum (Ecclesiastical History of the English People) by the Venerable Bede with Churchill's History of the English-Speaking Peoples to the ultimate detriment of each.
Sorry about that.

² Cædmon
"... famous story of Cædmon"
Quod dum tempore quodam faceret, et relicta domu conuiuii egressus esset ad stabula iumentorum, quorum ei custodia nocte illa erat delegata, ibique hora conpetenti membra dedisset sopori, adstitit ei quidam per somnium, eumque salutans ac suo appelans nomine "Caedmon," inquit, "canta mihi aliquid." At ille respondens "Nescio" inquit "cantare; nam et ideo de conuiuio egressus huc secessi, quia cantare non poteram." Rursum ille qui cum eo loquebatur "At tamen" ait "mihi cantare habes." "Quid" inquit "debeo cantare?" Et ille "Canta" inquit "principium creaturarum."
Quo accepto responso, statim ipse coepit cantare in laudem Dei Conditoris uersus quos numquam audierat, quorum iste est sensus: "Nunc laudare debemus auctorem regni caelestis, potentiam Creatoris et consilium illius, facta Patris gloriae: quomodo ille, cum sit aeternus Deus, omnium miraculorum auctor extitit, qui primo filiis hominum caelum pro culmine tecti, dehinc terram Custos humani generis omnipotens creauit." Hic est sensus, non autem ordo ipse uerborum, quae dormiens ille canebat; neque enim possunt carmina, quamuis optime conposita, ex alia in aliam linguam ad uerbum sine detrimento sui decoris ac dignitatis transferri. Exsurgens autem a somno, cuncta quae dormiens cantauerat memoriter retenuit, et eis mox plura in eundem modum uerba Deo digni carminis adiunxit.

On one such occasion when he did so, he left the place of feasting and went to the cattle byre, as it was his turn to take charge of them that night. In due time he stretched himself out and went to sleep, whereupon he dreamt that someone stood by him, saluted him, and called him by name: "Caedmon," he said, "Sing me something." Caedmon answered, "I cannot sing; that is why I left the feast and came here because I could not sing." Once again the speaker said, "Nevertheless, you must sing to me." "What must I sing?" said Caedmon. "Sing," he said,"about the beginning of created things." Thereupon Caedmon began to sing verses which he had never heard before in praise of God the Creator, of which this is the general sense: "Now we must praise the Maker of the heavenly kingdom, the power of the Creator and his counsel, the deeds of the Father of glory and how He, since he is the eternal God, was the Author of all marvels and first created the heavens as a roof for the children of men and then, the almighty Guardian of the human race, created the earth." This is the sense but not the order of the words which he sang as he slept. For it is not possible to translate verse, however well composed, literally from one language to another without some loss of beauty and dignity. When he awoke, he remembered all that he had sung while asleep and soon added more verses in the same manner, praising God in fitting style.

The title of this one has a purely seminal relationship to the essay---something about the contrast between your use of Elgar's wonderful Pomp and Circumstance No 1 for a rather whimpy graduation and ours, with the words "Land of Hope and Glory" as a (now officially deprecated) anthem of nationalistic fervour, provided the seed and then got edited out.

¹
"... late lamented Procrastes" Procrastes gave us the word 'procrastinate' meaning to delay, preferably to that tomorrow that never comes; just as Prokroustes gives us the word procrustinate, meaning to force to conform by bloodily ramming a square peg into a round hole, hence to use the Windoze operating system.
Note: this should never be confused with the following.

²
"... Procrustes, with whom he should never be confused" Procrustes gave us the word 'procrustean' for forced conformity, just as Prokrastes gave us the word 'procrastean' meaning "given to using of Amtrak", hence always a day late. Note: this is sometimes confused with the above.

³ Royal Cretin
"... some royal cretin---though I don't THINK it was Prince Charles" OK! Yeah! Cheap and unwarranted (and never likely to get the Royal Warrant either) shot at Prince Charles--probably would have been better with Prince William there.
I just wanted someone royal for the joke which was that Ariadne was rescued in Crete: Not that the word cretin has anything to do with the Island. Cretin (French Swiss--Christian) is very unusual if not unique in that it rather than being a racial or other slur actually implies that what ever else may be different about its subject he (or she) still has a soul and is, presumably, therefore fully human.
BTW Prince Charles is commonly referred to as 'Big-Ears' a reference to a possibly gay couple he makes in the Enid Blyton books with the eponymous 'Noddy'

⁴ Herakles or Perseus
"... hands of Theseus or Herakles or Perseus" We should, of course, ignore the petty rivalry between Perseus and Herakles which after the latter's cleaning of the Augean Stables lead to the former starting his rather pathetic 'Perseus Washes Whiter... And That Means Cleaner' advertising campaign as you can see if you look at the accompanying illustration ...



Oh!
...having just looked at it myself, I suggest that we forget the whole thing and that you don't even bother to read this note.
Sorry.