On the 16th of May in the Year of Our Lord 2009 (a day that will live in infamy) Simon, his scintillating Sunshine Show and Salmagundy, the Show for Working People were brutally hurled onto the trash heap of history. We, his hangers-on and toadies, of course immediately joined him there. To celebrate this so-called Morning of the Long Knives, we his hangers-on and toadies, were 'encouraged', by means the like of which has not been seen since Dick Chainey1 had to give up waterboarding2, to contribute memori... I mean testimonials to him, sort of like at the end of Beowulf.
For Simon's retirement I wrote (and said) the following, and it is a sad reflection of where the station is headed that they (I must admit quite skilfully) edited out the bits in bold: thoughts of Dr Thomas Bowdler and the basic requirements for becoming a guard in a hareem are skipping through my head as I write.
1) Simon's retiring and what worries me is not so much Simon's future (I mean he's more-or-less English and so he can well fend for himself) but the future for Rochester. What will Rochesterians do of a morning? Who can tell, but the outlook looks bleak out there, why, in a few years every single one of them will have just drifted away leaving their blank, empty houses; gaping windows open to the sky and the snow, and the low, forgotten hissing of their forlorn and useless radios.
2) Ahh! I remember, back in the old days: in the mid-eighties; when I actually lived in Ro-cha-cha; and recorded at the WXXI studio with real tape on big reels and there were razors, not for the chin nor for the wrist, but for editing stuff; and how Simon would never ever let me use the razors, and for the recording would always only allow me one take, and would always claim that it gave the performance 'authenticity' or something like that, though I always, rather, had a sneaking suspicion that he was just being a lazy old bugger.Cheerio for now
1 Not a misspelling, but a totally different chap who's not as likely to sue me as old 'Lavatory' Cheney would be were it a reference to him*.
2 They ASKED me!!
* Which, of course, it isn't!
...who knows? Who cares??
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