¹ OE hardest heart q.v. Maldon ll.312-3

"Hiġe sceal þē heardra,     heorte þē cēnre,
mōd sceal þē māre     þē ūre mæġen lȳtlað."

² Roy Liuzza ANSAX-L  Mar 23, 2009

³ George Clark ANSAX-L  Mar 25, 2009

⁴ Gary Bodie ANSAX-L  Mar 26, 2009

¹   This sort of extended shaggy pun story is, I suspect, a rather more English pastime that an American one. For years we all delighted over there in such radio fare as the programme My Word which would almost always culminate in one, or even two.

Or consider the following:

Professor: So, gentlemen, the key to our dilemma lies in this simple but rare South American amphibian, one that can only be recognised by its unusually coloured genitalia. We must chase it down!

Exeunt omnes singing
“Follow the Yellow Prick’d Toad.
“Follow the Yellow Prick’d Toad.
“Follow, follow, follow follow,
“Follow the Yellow Prick’d Toad.”

There'll Always be an England
words & music: Parker & Charles

I give you a toast, ladies and gentlemen.
I give you a toast, ladies and gentlemen.
May this fair dear land we love so well
In dignity and freedom dwell.
Though worlds may change and go awry
While there is still one voice to cry

There'll always be an England
While there's a country lane,
Wherever there's a cottage small
Beside a field of grain.
There'll always be an England
While there's a busy street,
Wherever there's a turning wheel,
A million marching feet.

Red, white and blue; what does it mean to you?
Surely you're proud, shout it aloud,
"Britons, awake!"
The empire too, we can depend on you.
Freedom remains. These are the chains
Nothing can break.

There'll always be an England,
And England shall be free
If England means as much to you
As England means to me¹.

 ¹ Interestingly, my Scottish Mum always sang this couplet...

'If England means as much to you
'As Scotland means to me"

Purely for copyright reasons (and no other) my pronunciation of Maori throughout this essay is pathetic, and the management would like to stress that this is intentional²,---no, really.

¹  ...and if I hear you say 'good thing too' under your breath again Dobson minor I shall drag you by the ear to see the Headmaster! [joke from my school days advisory]

²   I did say 'purely for copyright reasons', didn't I?

1948 A. BARON From City, from Plough vi. 49 ‘Higgsy,’ said the sergeant, ‘they think I'm taking the mickey. Tell 'em.’ 1952 ‘J. HENRY’ Who lie in Gaol iv. 66 She's a terror. I expect she'll try and take the mickey out of you all right. Don't you stand for nothin'. 1957 L. P. HARTLEY Hireling 134 He had no great regard for Constance, except in so far as she sometimes took the mickey out of Hughie. 1958 Observer 28 Dec. 3/1 ‘Tonight’ is not only a tough and irreverent programme, but glib and smart and anxious to take the mickey. 1960 E. W. HILDICK Jim Starling & Colonel ix. 76 The servers must have thought that no boy would dare to take the mickey in such circumstances. 1971 B. W. ALDISS Soldier Erect 101 Geordie looked anxiously at me, in case I thought he was taking the micky too hard. 1991 Sunday Sun (Brisbane) 3 Feb. 6/5, I don't think there is any subject that is too serious to take the micky out of.

a1935 T. E. LAWRENCE Mint (1955) II. vi. 117 But, mate, you let the flight down, when he takes the mike out of you every time. 1935 G. INGRAM Cockney Cavalcade i. 14 He wouldn't let Pancake ‘take the mike’ out of him. 1940 N. & Q. 1 June 382/1 ‘Taking the mike out of’ anyone means pulling his leg, having a game with him. 1956 J. CANNAN People to be Found i. 14 They won't 'alf take the mike out of 'im. 1973 ‘B. MATHER’ Snowline vi. 75 Watch it... The Swami don't dig taking the mike out of the gods.

1945 Penguin New Writing 26 49 The corporal..sat back in his corner looking a little offended. He thought I was taking the piss. 1958 F. NORMAN Bang to Rights 116 This only made us take the piss out of him the more. 1971 B. W. ALDISS Soldier Erect 49 ‘Come on, Wally, like---I don't think you ought to take the piss out of the poor sod!’ Geordie said. ‘He's got his living to earn.’ 1978 R. HILL Pinch of Snuff xiv. 145 When Hope replied ‘He's a Hungarian’ he thought at first he was taking the piss. 1995 i-D Nov. 29/2 ‘I don't think people realise how tongue in cheek we are,’ says Johnny. ‘We take the piss out of everyone, really.’ 2004 Jockey Slut Feb. 107/1 It's quite anti-establishment from an Irish point of view, the way it takes the piss out of the church.

 By the way I just realised that that moaning I've been hearing of late isn't the wind---it's the trees having orgasms!

¹  of course I'm sure you know it, but just to refresh your memory it's the verse that goes:

ט  וַיֵּדַע אוֹנָן, כִּי לֹּא לוֹ יִהְיֶה הַזָּרַע; וְהָיָה אִם-בָּא אֶל-אֵשֶׁת אָחִיו, וְשִׁחֵת אַרְצָה, לְבִלְתִּי נְתָן-זֶרַע, לְאָחִיו.

²  barmy:---and I do mean mad...
Simon and I had a heated discussion about this spelling (proving that he, at least, visits the site) so I thought I'd better append some stuff from the OED, so that none of you think any less of me than you do now; you see actually there is a choice, and (following a century of usage) I prefer to differentiate the two meanings by using the 'barmy' form.

Also there wouldn't be such an obvious paronomasia with the form in '-l-'.

See the OED under barmy 2.b. especially the 1896 quotation.

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barmy, a.

[f. BARM n.2 + -Y1.]

    1. Of, full of, or covered with barm; frothing.
1535 LYNDESAY Sat. Three Estates, Gud barmie aill. 1601 B. JONSON Poetast. V. iii, That puft-up lump of barmy froth. c1817 HOGG Tales II. 256 Like barmy beer in corked bottles.

    2. a. fig. Full of ferment, excitedly active, flighty.
1602 Ret. fr. Parnass. I. ii. (Arb.) 9 Such barmy heads wil alwaies be working. a1605 MONTGOMERIE Poems (1821) 49 Hope puts that hast into ʒour heid, Quhilk boyl's ʒour barmy brain. 1785 BURNS Wks. III. 85 Just now I've taen the fit o' rhyme, My barmie noddle's working prime.

    b. = BALMY a. 7 (of which it is an altered form, after BARM n.2). slang.
1892 Answers 27 Feb. 242/1 One plan is..to give foolish answers when asked questions. By this means the shammer gets known as being 'barmy' (weak-minded) among his shipmates. 1896 Westm. Gaz. 30 May 8/1 Should not 'balmy' be 'barmy'? I have known a person of weak intellect called 'Barmy Billy'... The prisoner..meant to simulate semi-idiocy, or 'barminess', not 'balminess'. 1902 Ibid. 8 Nov. 2/1 All the boys think him barmy.

    3. Comb. barmy-brained a., flighty; barmy-froth, (fig.) a flighty, empty-headed fellow.
1599 MARSTON Sco. Villanie 166 Each odde puisne of the Lawyers Inne, Each barmy-froth, that last day did beginne To read his little. 1824 SCOTT St. Ronan's xxxii, Cork-headed barmy-brained gowks!

DRAFT ADDITIONS JUNE 2006

    barmy, adj.

  * barmy army n. (also with capital initials) Brit. (a) derogatory a political faction regarded as extremist or fanatical; (b) Sport the supporters of a particular team, esp. those known for their raucous behaviour or vociferous support during matches; spec. (freq. as a self-designation) such a group of followers of the England cricket team.
1987 Guardian 24 June 2/8 Delegates..expressed disillusion with the Labour Party and their resistance to what Mr Paul Gallent from Nottinghamshire called 'the *barmy army of the Left'. 1989 Independent (Nexis) 3 Jan., The best chance fell to City's Trevor Morley and he fired straight at Mervyn Day. The bananas drooped while Sergeant Wilko's Barmy Army cheered, to confirm the happier side. 1994 J. BIRMINGHAM He died with Felafel in his Hand (1997) iv. 65, I could hear those drunken Barmy Army fools singing Rule Britannia a way off in the distance. 1996 Sunday Tel. 4 Feb. (Rev. section) 24/1 The 'Barmy Army', English cricket's noisiest and most outrageous supporters, arrived in South Africa, raring to go, for the Test series this winter. 2002 South Wales Echo (Nexis) 2 Aug. 8 During the 1995 Tory leadership contest it was Collins who described John Redwood's campaign team as a 'swivel-eyed barmy army'.

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balmy, a.

[f. BALM n. + -Y1.]

    1. Yielding or producing balm.
1667 MILTON P.L. v. 24 What drops the Myrrhe, and what the balmie Reed. 1742 COLLINS Eclog. i. 49 The balmy shrub for you shall love our shore.

    †2. Of the consistency of balm; resinous. Obs.
1782 MONRO Anat. 14 The marrow is..oily and balmy in middle age.

    3. Delicately and deliciously fragrant.
c1500 DUNBAR Gold. Targe 97 Ewiry blome..Opnyt & spred thair balmy leves. 1604 SHAKES. Oth. V. ii. 16 Ile smell thee on the Tree. Oh Balmy breath. 1794 BURNS Wks. IV. 313 Like a baumy kiss. 1824 MISS MITFORD Village Ser. I. (1863) 85 Under the shade of those balmy firs.

    4. fig. Deliciously soft and soothing.
1604 SHAKES. Oth. II. ii. 259 To haue their Balmy slumbers wak'd with strife. 1742 YOUNG Nt. Th. I. 1 Tir'd Nature's sweet restorer, balmy Sleep! 1857 HEAVYSEGE Saul (1869) 161 The balmy sense of fault forgiven.

    5. Of wind, air, weather, etc. (combining senses 3 and 4): Deliciously mild, fragrant, and soothing.
1704 POPE Winter 48 The balmy zephyrs. 1850 TENNYSON In Mem. xvii, And balmy drops..Slide from the bosom of the stars. 1867 M. E. BRADDON R. Godwin II. v. 73 When the August weather was brightest and balmiest.

    6. Of healing virtue, medicinally soothing.
1746 COLLINS Ode to Pity i, With balmy hands his wounds to bind. 1796 BURKE Regic. Peace Wks. 1842 II. 318 To assuage his bruised dignity with half a yard square of balmy diplomatick diachylon. 1826 E. IRVING Babylon II. 391 The cure for a disease, is to send..balmy medicines.

    7. 'Soft', weak-minded, idiotic. Also as n. (see quot. 1903). See also BARMY a. slang.
1851 MAYHEW Lond. Labour I. 217/2 (Street-patterers' slang) Balmy, insane. 1859 HOTTEN Slang Dict., Balmy, insane. 1891 FARMER Slang II. 224/1 Balmy in one's crumpet. 1892 Daily News 17 Nov. 6/6 Regarding the old 'balmy' criminals, they are poor creatures, far more to be pitied than condemned. 1903 LD. W. NEVILL Penal Servitude 150 These are officially classed as 'W. M.'---that is, weak-minded{em}but are invariably known colloquially as 'balmies'. Ibid. 151 A man who appears to be playing 'balmy'. 1912 MASEFIELD Dauber II. in English Rev. Oct. 350 Painting's a balmy's job [ed. 1913, p. 21 a balmy job] not worth a nail. 1922 'R. CROMPTON' Just---William xi. §I. 206 'I s'pose you're balmy on her,' he said resignedly. 1929 J. B. PRIESTLEY Good Companions III. i. 460 People here must have gone balmy.

    8. absol. Sleep. (Cf. sense 4.) slang.
1840 DICKENS Old C. Shop viii, As it's rather late, I'll try and get a wink or two of the balmy.

³  insane:---see!

I regret that the title may remind some of you of Edith Piaf and her wonderful song, in which she doesn't.

¹ Shrove-tide [Of obscure origin.
  The first element is undoubtedly related to SHRIVE and refers to the custom of being shriven in preparation for Lent.
  An OE. *scráf shriving, confession, f. scrífan to SHRIVE, would account phonologically for shrove-, but, if the form actually existed, the absence of evidence for this group of words until the 15th c. is remarkable. (Other early names for the season were FASTENS-EEN, FAST-GONG, FASTINGONG.)] 

    The period comprising Quinquagesima Sunday and the two following days, ‘Shrove’ Monday and Tuesday.

    b. fig. A time of merriment.

    c. attrib., as Shrovetide even, -fool; Shrovetide cock, a cock tied up and pelted with sticks on Shrove Tuesday; Shrovetide hen, a hen sent as a present on Shrove Tuesday.

² as someone at work said, that joke's really corny if not actually buniony.

¹ nominal realists: A silly philosophical paronomasia, See here for a lack of clarification

² chairPERSON: Though, if I can speak ex-cathedra, apocope-ing it down to 'chair' doesn't seem anywhere near as bad by comparison.

³ hŏmo , ĭnis (archaic form hemonem hominem dicebant, Paul. ex Fest. p. 100 Müll.; cf. humanus and nēmo, from nĕ-hĕmo: homōnem, Enn. ap. Prisc. p. 683 P. = Ann. v. 141 Vahl.: “hŏmōnes,” Naev. 1, 1), comm. root in humus, Gr. χαμαί; cf. Germ. -gam in Bräutigam; O. H. Germ. gomo; Goth. guma; Old Engl. goom; Engl. groom; cf. also Gr. ἐπιχθόνιοι; Hebr. Adam, a human being, man.
   ὅμός , ή, όν, one and the same, common, joint, “οὐ γὰρ πάντων ἦεν ὁ. θρόος” Il.4.437 ; “ὁ. γένος” 13.354 ; “ὁμὴ σορός” 23.91, IG14.2469.10 ; “ὁ. τιμή” Il.24.57 ; “ὁ. αἶσα” 15.209 ; “ὁ. νεῖκος” 13.333 ; “ὁ. ὀϊζύς” Od.17.563 ; “ὁ. λέχος” Il.8.291, Hes. Th.508 ; “ὁμὰ χθών” IG14.1721 ; οὐ καθ᾽ ὁμὰ φρονέοντε not of one mind, Hes.Sc.50 ; “ἱκνεῖσθαι εἰς ὁμόν” unite, Parm.8.47 : c. gen., “ἑτέρων ἴχνια μὴ καθ᾽ ὁμὰ δίφρον ἐλᾶν” Call.Aet.Oxy.2079.26. (Cf. Skt. samá-, Goth. sama 'the same', cogn. with εἷς.

⁴ OED: To which money-grubbing swine, by the way, I just had to pay yet another $300.