Current Essays

Me at the Mike

Here is a repository of the texts of my wireless essays together with some readings of them.

The essays were broadcast by WXXI 91.5 Classical of Rochester, NY on Salmagundy each Saturday at 9:35am Eastern Time, from the beginning of time (1985) till May 2009 when Entropa (evil Goddess of Change-for-the-Worse-or-Possibly-the-Worst) troubled the minds of the WXXIites and they retired Simon and Salmagundy, and Rochester went into a terminal decline---for ever.
But I do continue on that brilliant bastion of all that's good and kultured, on WCLV's syndicated Weekend Radio on many (mainly NPRish) stations traditionally on the first and third weekends of the month, though your weekendage may vary, (these are archived for a couple of months).

There are pop-up pics and links all over the place here. In text they are indicated by a double underline like this:
           mouse-overing brings the pop-up up and clicking (usually) goes to the link

Richard Howland-Bolton

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General: Letter to America: Beautiful Broads On:2022-04-22 10:17:13
My Dear Americans,
    I visited our local 'Big City' the other day: Norwich1. It bills itself as 'A Fine City', not without some justification. It has two cathedrals (one of each), a castle and all sorts of other fine stuff. It also has a big railway station.

General: Letter to America: Tipping Points On:2022-03-01 19:56:00
My Dear Americans,
   I'm sure you have heard of 'cow tipping', as an activity of bored youth in the countryside (and is there any other sort of youth way out in the sticks?), youth blessed with an unkind sense of humor and a vertical cow. Apart from the aspect of animal cruelty, not to mention animal embarrassment, it is a really, really dangerous activity; cows are big and mostly do not take well to being tipped, inverted, pushed over or indeed mucked about with in any way, and have fairly definite (and occasionally fatal) means at their disposal for registering their disapproval. And anyway it's all probably just an urban legend, so no worries.
General: Letter to America: Official Report of the Dig at the Front Room Site, 2021 On:2022-01-24 10:20:00
My Dear Americans,
   my last letter ended with a wail of anguish at all the work we are having to do on the house over here so, lest you think me merely exaggerating for your sympathy, let me tell you of the room at the front of the house that is destined to be my library. As soon as work started I discovered that the floorboards were infested by woodworm (the UK equivalent of termites, only sneakier and snarkier), indeed it was so infested that the only thing stopping me falling through the floor was all the woodworm holding hands. You could almost hear them singing We Shall Overcome!
General: Ærial Evil On:2021-09-12 13:36:00
I fear this essay is going to completely destroy the caring, sensitive, nature-loving, liberal cred that (with a few exceptions) I have carefully developed and nurtured over the decades, but... but... I have just got to admit that I absolutely hate, despise, loathe, would happily chop up into little tiny bits and then make up rude songs about so-called ...seagulls. Oh! I suppose I have to admit that they may look sort of graceful as they fly, but that is only until they open their beaks or their bottoms and all Hell breaks loose, then they almost make pigeons or vultures look cute and loveable.

General: This Too Shall..... On:2020-10-23 13:00:00

is the closest I come to a motto, slogan, catchphrase or what-have-you, and I even have the teeshirt to prove it.

General: Free! Free!! Free!!! On:2020-10-13 14:15:56
Once upon a time, long ago and quite possibly in a galaxy far, far away, products were advertised by what they contained: for example I remember an advert from the aforesaid time and place with the tag line "full of nourishing marrowbone jelly" (I believe this was for some sort of dog food, but if it wasn't then "Ewww-ww-w!")1
Even if this superfluity was of intangible things, like the Turkish Delight candy "Full of Eastern promise"2, or even allusively as when "just a little dab'll do ya"3 has the certain implicature that that dab is just chock full of nourishing promise, or even if it's just the boring old sex-appeal that it filled the potential user with—it was the contents or additives that seemed to add contentment to the customer.

General: Apocovidalypse Knees On:2020-06-04 11:15:45
Thank you for asking, but actually I've been doing quite well during the Apocovidalypse---at least as far as health is concerned. I've been out in the traditional shorts, singlet and face mask every morning, walking four or five miles at a brisk Roman Legionary Pace above 4 milia passuum an hour, and it's having an effect. I'm losing weight and I'm feeling fit but, but... well I'm not sure if this is appropriate for a family programme such as this, but...but wearing shorts and walking I've...I've ... ... started to pay attention to my knees!
And I have realised that I have Old Guy Knees.

General: The Dog Business On:2017-03-05 10:00:00
In the last few months my life has changed suddenly, dramatically and out of all reckoning.
General: Correct not Right On:2013-06-16 16:00:00
I was in Half-Price Books the other day... (Oh! and I suppose should explain that Half-Price Books is an excellent chain of secondhand book shops which, if you think about it, is not what you'd expect to find in Texas)... anyway... I was in Half-Price Books the other day, and when I was checking out, the chap behind the counter complimented me on signing my name with the correct hand rather than the right one.

General: Why Do Coincidences All Happen at the Same Time? On:0000-00-00 00:00:00
We have a saying in England, in situations when, for instance, some chap is failing miserably to awaken the interest of a young lady "Huh! Chance'd be a fine thing." and chance may well be a fine thing, but coincidence is a pain sometimes, and it's funny how it takes over and everything seems to happen all at once. Often disastrously.

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